Managing Stress – The Right Way
“It’s not the burden that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it”
Today, in a highly competitive environment, people are struggling to maintain a balance between working hard and over-working. The same goes for students who have access to so much information and advice that they’re confused as to what to do and what not. In my coaching sessions, I generally help people realize what is it that they should focus on and that realization helps them take the next few steps. Our mind generally shuts when we face a problem and that’s where we look for external reinforcement, but most solutions lie with us, it’s just a matter of realizing them, which is where a coach helps you to expand your mind.
New discoveries link the brain to the immune system and suggest that state of mind can affect us right down to our cells. There has been skepticism about these claims of new-age psychic healers. But in the past 10 years an explosion of research findings, have suggested that the mind and body act on each other in often remarkable ways. Now the investigations are demonstrating that emotional states can translate into altered responses in the immune system.
You have definitely heard of things like Meditate, Do yoga, Don’t think about the negative things, Think positive, Do this Do that, but it just doesn’t seem to work for you. The reason is they are things that someone has said, and the self-realization has not happened. So how is it that you can Manage stress the right way. Here are a few things that you could do:
- Identify your triggers: Here are a few triggers that may lead to high stress levels: Loneliness, Arguments with others, Recent changes in lifestyle, Moving to a new community, Inflation and finances, Major new financial responsibility, Health worries, Recent marriages, Disease of beloved one, Recent separation or divorce, Illness of mate or beloved one, New family member, Concern about who you are, Recent Personal failure, Concern over physical appearance, Sexual difficulties, Pregnancy of self or mate, Problems with children, Self-growing older, Family members growing old, Always having to act nice to others, Having to be thoroughly competent at all things, Wishing to be liked by everybody, Unable to understand others point of view, Uncertainty about the future, Expecting others to satisfy my needs, Too numerous demands placed on me, Trying to do several things at the same time, Impatience. There may be one or more triggers as the reasons for your stress, so the first step is to identify what is it that’s really troubling you
- Consider the Present Moment: “This had happened in the past, so it may have led to this” “I’ve been there, done that. This is not how you deal with things. My past experience will be used here” Sounds familiar isn’t it. While using your past experiences as a learning curve is good, however this leads us to living in the past. Focus on the present situation and what can be done to solve it. For e.g. You have chosen commerce as a career path and now regret that you should’ve taken science, is not going to help you. You already have taken commerce, now what is it that you can do to make your journey interesting is something that you should focus on. This will help you to reduce your stress levels. Another example is of peer pressure, oh god this guy got a 9% increment, I got a 6%. I worked harder than him, I’m sure the process is biased. Now thinking about this and speaking about it to the wrong people is only going to increase your stress levels. Introspect on what could’ve gone wrong with your work and then decide what’s best for you rather than get into comparisons.
- Stop searching for external reinforcement: I’m too stressed, let’s go and party. Let’s have some beer, it’ll help me relax, let’s go on an adventure, that’s the best way to relax. Now these might help you temporarily, but what about the permanent solutioning. When you take help of external reinforcements you are depending on the experience they give you rather than focus on the inner self. While doing all this is ok, coz that may be needed to take a break, do not depend on them for relieving stress. Once you’ve finished partying, or the adventure, sit back and reflect on why this adventure or party helped you relax. Is it the company of people? Or is it that you just wanted to not think about things? Or is it something that’s completely different? Introspection helps you to find the right answers so think of what you think is the best way to introspect and get answers for yourself
- Ideate & Evaluate: Focus on different things that you could do to help reduce your stress levels, rather than think of “Why can’t that person change”. Who wants to feel relaxed? You or the other person. It’s very simple but we love to make it complex. As a coach I can help you identify how you can reach this level of stress proofing your lifestyle in order to stay more happy
To Summarize, a positive mental state seems to bear favourably on health and longevity. The “Art of Living” basically comprises of learning the “Art of Being”, “Art of Becoming”, “Art of Relating”, “Art of Thinking” and the “Art of Organizing”. With these in place, stress proofing your life will become very easy. My Individual coaching sessions help you reflect and get to solutioning faster than you could with external reinforcement, so get in touch with me to know more. Remember, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another”